Exciting Adoption News!

Exciting Adoption News!  We are thrilled to share that we received a matching grant from Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc and have the month of December to raise funds that will be matched dollar for dollar to help bring our daughter home!!!  Many of you have expressed an interest and a willingness to help and here is your chance.  Below is more information in the form of a letter we will be sending out to some family and friends.  Thank you in advance and every size donation helps & gets doubled through December 31st!!!

Dear Family and Friends,

As many of you may have already heard we feel that God has called us on a new journey to provide a “forever” family to a child through the process of adoption.  We have started down this path of adoption and are excited to bring Alia Joy into our home within the next six months (prayerfully this Spring).  We have been led to pursue Alia Joy, an orphan from China, and are now waiting for God’s timing of going to get her.

This road to adoption is full of many joys and challenges, the greatest joy being the inclusion of a child into our family and while you can’t put a price on such a joy, with adoption unfortunately there is a price.  The costs of adoption include the expense of a home study, adoption agency, international fees, travel expenses, etc., With this adoption in particular we are looking at many future medical expenses for hand/arm surgeries, back surgeries and whatever else Alia Joy may need for the best future possible.  As many of you have loved on us throughout our lives and the short lives of our other children, Sophia and Lydia, we know you are wanting to love on our newest daughter, Alia, as well.  This brings us to why we are sending this letter.

We were recently awarded a matching funds grant to help with the expenses of our adoption through Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc. a non-profit private operating foundation.  Hand in Hand will match any funds that are donated through our friends and family for the expenses of our adoption.  All funds received through our friends and family will be matched dollar for dollar by Hand in Hand up to our awarded grant amount, $5,000.   All donations are tax-deductible.

You can find out more about Hand in Hand through their website at www.handinhandadopt.org. If you have further questions about the Hand in Hand matching grant program please feel free to give us a call at 270-307-7172 or email us at jonathan.l.carl@gmail.com.  You may also contact Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc. with any questions you may have.  They can be reached at 913-248-5015 or by e-mail at handinhandadopt@gmail.com.

Please send all donations made payable to “Hand in Hand Christian Adoption” postmarked by December 31, 2013 to: (for tax purposes please include our name on the outside of the envelope only…do not put our name on the check itself)

Hand in Hand Christian Adoption, Inc.
Jonathan and Brittney Carl
18318 Mimosa Court
Gardner, KS  66030   

Thank you for your prayerful consideration in helping Alia Joy come home to her “forever” family.  More than your gifts, we appreciate your heartfelt prayers to Christ that Alia will be with us in His perfect timing and that she will come to know, love, trust, & follow Jesus with all of her heart, soul, mind, & strength!

Walking Hand in Hand,

Jonathan, Brittney, Sophia, Lydia, & Alia Carl

jonathan.l.carl@gmail.com

Pregnancy vs. Adoption Process

Here lately I have been thinking and comparing my pregnancies with Sophia and Lydia to the adoption process.  Here are some comparisons I have made thus far...I hope this gives you a little laugh but also a glimpse into the life of a family adopting (each family is different just as every pregnancy).

Pregnancies

• Morning sickness--definitely the worst!!!
• Doctor appointments--told me what I should and shouldn't be doing to keep the baby and myself safe and healthy
• Growing belly--Visual progress!  I'm a visual learner, so the belly growing was a sense of accomplishment in a weird way leading up to pretty sweet rewards!  
• Maternity pants which in my opinion are awesome!  If I could get away with wearing them all the time I would, but since I am not pregnant I better not!
• Ultrasounds--anytime I was ever concerned or hadn't felt the baby kick inside my belly, I just had to run to the doctor and they would check for the heartbeat or do an ultrasound.
• We had a due date!  We knew that the babies would both be fully grown around 40 weeks and ready to meet the world!  At the time the dates may not have come as soon as momma would have liked but in the big scheme of things I knew the girls would grow until just the right timing and to be patient and pray for a healthy baby above my discomfort and impatience.
• Paperwork--very minimal at appointments, at the hospital and of course adding to insurance and such.
• Delivery--I will leave that to everyone's imagination or experience but thankfully looking back over two deliveries...I really have nothing to complain about!  One with an epidural and one without...both fairly quickly after a few hours of labor...quick recoveries...and most importantly two safe and healthy baby girls!

Adoption

• No morning sickness, but definitely a stomach on edge constantly wondering if we would be approved for this or that or who God would pick out to be part of our family FOREVER!
• No Doctor's appointments, but meetings with case workers, talking to several other families for guidance and learning from their experiences.
• No growing belly, but a heart growing so full of love it feels as if it may burst waiting to meet someone that is so special to our family yet we have never met!
• No maternity clothes and nothing really to compare here!  Ha! ha!
• No ultrasounds or heartbeats to hear...just a few pictures from our case worker that are now 3 months out of date!  This is the hardest!  Not being able to check in on our girl whenever we are concerned or just wondering how she is doing.  This has been a huge lesson in faith and trusting in God's sovereignty!  He has his arms around our girl until we can (He always will, but we will too!)  
• No due date but rather lots of countdown dates that will forever be special...when we made the decision to adopt (May 2009), when God led our hearts to start the adoption process (April 2013), submitted adoption application (April 28, 2013), accepted into the China adoption program (May 2, 2013), when we told our family and friends the exciting news (May 3, 2013), when we shared the news with our church family (May 19, 2013) when we met our home study case worker (May 31, 2013), home study interviews (June 7, 2013),  home safety evaluation (June 24, 2013), received email of our sweet girl stating she was available for adoption as a "special focus" child (July 26, 2013), made the decision to review her profile (August 19, 2013), received profile to review (August 29, 2013), felt let to adopt and accept referral to adopt our sweet girl (September 5, 2013), our referral was electronically accepted in China (September 12, 2013), pre-approved to adopt our sweet girl (October 1, 2013)
• Paperwork...let's just say they don't call it a "paperwork pregnancy" for nothing!  To put the amount of paperwork we've had to complete into perspective, we had to fill out a form for our pets (we don't have any LOL)!  China has to know everything!  While very time consuming, the paperwork is necessary and will all be worth it!
• Delivery...we cannot wait for our sweet girl to be "delivered" into our arms!  While we have no clue when this date will occur, we know whenever it happens that our "gotcha day" will always be a special day for our family as will the moment we step off the plane and are greeted with family and friends meeting our girl for the first time!  

I pray this comparison has helped you get a glimpse of what a blessing bringing our future daughter home truly is.  It's a time in our life that's full of emotions...each one bringing us one step closer to adding a precious little girl to our family FOREVER! Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement along the way!

On Purpose: No Accidents

Most of you reading our blog have probably read our posts on facebook and the news that we have accepted a referral to adopt a little girl.  While we would love to share the details publicly, we aren't allowed to at this time and are awaiting the official approval that says we can pursue the adoption. However, we can tell you we simply love her already!

Our church recently began a new small group study called: What On Earth Am I Here For? by Rick Warren.  If you have read any of his studies, listened to his sermons online or heard him speak, you know what a wonderful man of God he is.  If you haven't, I highly recommend finding time to do so.  In the study we just began, on the very first page of the study it states...

You were made by God and for God's purposes, and until you understand that, life will never make sense.

This is a powerful statement for anyone created by God, which is well...ALL OF US! But it especially rung true to me when thinking about all the orphans in the world!  God made each of them and has a purpose for them all!  We pray the Lord has it in HIS will for us to adopt this little girl and to see just what HIS purposes are for her life!  We also pray for other orphans that God has it in His will for them to become part of forever families.  

As the study continued, it also had this excerpt which brought me to tears.  Regardless if you are an orphan, know someone who is, feeling unimportant or just needing some encouragement...these are powerful words...

You are not an accident.  There are accidental parents, but there are no accidental births. There are illegitimate parents, but there are no illegitimate children.  There are unplanned pregnancies, but there are no unpurposed people.  God wanted you in this world.  You are not an accident.  

This especially struck my heart with our adoption process.  As you are aware, we chose to adopt a child that is considered "disabled". (I really do not like that word and understand now why parents who have children that fit into this category choose other words to describe their child.) As we are able to reveal more things online, we will share more about our little girl's "uniqueness" and traits that make her so special!  Until then, just trust us when we say she is absolutely precious! Anyway, the excerpt above has been repeated in my mind all week, since I read it.  Each of us were created for a purpose and were not accidents.  Everything that makes us unique and special are things God thought of and knew we would have long before we were born.  You, (God), saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your book. Psalm 139:16 If I get the chance, when we go to pick up our future child, I promise to pray this over other children I see that are orphans.  Granted, they may not understand my English speaking prayer, I pray they feel it being said in love and know how truly special they are...they are unique by God's design and purpose! I pray this for each of you reading our blog as well, that you would know how truly special you are and that God made you on purpose and wanted you in this world!  You are not an accident!

A 10 Step Understanding of Our Adoption Process

Our adoption agency, Amercian World Adoption Agency (www.awaa.org) has been incredible!  The adoption process is complex and lengthy, but our future child is worth it!

We've had lots of questions on the adoption process, so here is our simple explanation of it...

1. Select and apply to adoption agency: We felt led to AWAA off of a recommendation and its reputation with Chinese adoptions!
2. Pick a country to adopt from (China for us!!)
3. Begin Home Study Process (Your home study is the written report by a social worker "assessing your ability to provide a loving home to an orphan, your motivation to adopt internationally, and your expectations of your adopted child. The report includes information about your background, current family life, and how this new child will be integrated into your family. This is designed to be a non-judgmental and fun process!" ~excerpt from AWAA)
4. Begin Dossier Process. (Your dossier is all of your completed paperwork put together to mail overseas. i.e. copies of insurance, police/background checks, recommendations, medical records, marriage and birth certificates, financial records, employment letters, random letters, pictures, biographies, etc.  Find a special notary, you'll need them a lot!)
5. Prayerfully Select a Waiting Child.  (For China this means specifying what age, gender, mental or physical health issues you are comfortable in considering.  China's Waiting Child program allows for a quicker adoption process of older healthy children and younger children with special need. Some children cannot be considered until your paperwork is officially sent to your adoptive country.  In China the waiting period for a healthy child now stands at 7.5 years.).
6. Send Complete Home Study to USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) for approval to adopt from a "Hague Adoption Convention Country. (a 1.5-2.5 month process).
7. Certify Your Completed Paperwork through Your County, State, Secretary of State, and Chinese Embassy/Consulate for a certification process.
8. Send Certified Paperwork to Your Adoption Agency & Adoptive Country
9. Continue Adoption Training and Education (We have to spend 20+ hours on training videos plus read 5 assigned books concerning adoption.  Assignments vary somewhat between adoption agencies.)
NOTE: Steps 1-9 usually take a combined 6-7 months at least!  Sometimes a prayer-filled child selection takes a lot longer!
10. GO and get 'em!!  What some refer to as 'gotcha day'...go and pick up your child on a 1-2 week trip!! (Some countries require two trips, but China requires one 2-week trip).

Don't worry!  The process is actually a lot more complicated than this! :)  But we've had an awesome social worker, Family Coordinator (contact at adoption agency), supportive family and friends, and other adoptive parents to support, encourage, and pray with us along the way!!

Where are we at now?  We are at steps 3, 4, 5, & 7 simultaneously (told you it is complicated)!  We are praying to be complete with 1-9 by Christmas (we started in May)...but we'll see what the Lord's timing is!

Meanwhile, we look and pray forward to step 10! :)

Unique, Special and One of a Kind

I am special!
I am unique!
I am lovable and worthwhile!

The above is a creed my middle school Home Economics teacher had us recite in her class. While I don't remember it all, I do remember, what I would like to think is the most important part!  As Jonathan and I prayed about where the Lord was leading us to adopt, we felt Him leading us towards China.  To adopt a healthy child from China, it takes 6-8 YEARS. To adopt a child with some form of what they call a "disability" it takes 1-2 YEARS.

While we would love to have a healthy child, just like the two girls God has already blessed us with, we also felt led in another direction.    The term "disability" is loosely used when referring to children needing a forever home.  Many are labeled this due to needing a simple surgery or a child born with a low birth weight.  Children in China and many other countries alike do not have the medical services available or the means to provide the services needed.  Some children are simply getting older and will "age-out" of being adopted and remain in an orphanage or foster care system until they are of age and able to take care of themselves.  The label "disability" can also mean something more serious, such as cerebral palsy or loss of hearing or eye sight.  Regardless of the difference in the child, they have been placed up for adoption for one reason or another.  China's strict guidelines of how many children a household can have and the desire for a son to carry on the family name and property don't help the matter of children being placed in adoption situations either.

All of this being shared to tell you we are choosing the 1-2 year approach of adopting from China.  The thought of a child not being wanted simply because of limitations they may have, however big or small, makes my heart ache!  And as I scroll down the lists of "waiting children" longing for a home and someone to love them, I am quickly reminded of the creed my Home Economics teacher taught me many years ago...You are special! You are unique! You are lovable and worthwhile!  I cannot wait to share this important message with our future son/daughter.  More importantly I look forward to sharing the message that a God who loves them created him/her just the way they are and He has awesome plans for their life!

Home Study Details

CONFESSION TIME...I have always wanted to do a blog, but never really had a good reason to.  Never felt like I had much to share that others would read.  Jonathan was worried I would get too busy and not be able to keep it up.  Well...I finally found a great reason to start one and Jonathan was correct in his thinking because here we are weeks/months later with an adoption update.  I'm sure you all are thinking...FINALLY!

First, let me say thank you to everyone for your prayers and concern with wanting to know how the adoption process is going!  It truly means a lot to us for people to ask questions and want to know how things are coming along.  Your prayers are being felt and we appreciate you lifting them up to God on our behalf.  Our prayer is that we are right in step with God's will every step of the way...not just in the adoption process but life too!

So...here's the update!  The home study portion of the adoption process consisted of three visits with our home study case worker.  The first meeting was just an initial introduction to the adoption process where we had some Q & A time and were presented with a huge binder full of information to read and paper work to complete.  It was very intimidating I have to admit!  The second meeting was an actual interview process where Jonathan and I were interviewed individually about our childhood history as well as if we were on the same page with parenting techniques, why we want to adopt, etc.  The third and final step of the home study and probably the most stressful for an OCD momma like myself...the inspection of our HOME!  Those who know me, know that I am very organized and like for everything to have a place.  Add several safety requirements and the need for a food supply should there be a natural disaster and this OCD momma was a bit nervous!  (For example, we had to have an escape ladder from the upstairs bedrooms?  I mean really?  Who has those?) Well, we did purchase a fire escape ladder, extra food and water, and some fudge from The Sweet Shoppe here in town (to bribe our case worker) and were all set.  I kid you not, the inspection took a total of 15 minutes walking through the house, him writing a few notes and taking pictures and we PASSED!  All the stress for nothing!  I'm convinced it was the fudge!

All the home study paperwork is finished, online courses are complete and now we wait for our case worker to basically write a biography about the Carl's.  We will proof the finished piece of writing compiled from all the notes our case worker made through our visits and paperwork and once it is finished, it will be sent through the immigration process.  People who call this a "paperwork pregnancy" weren't joking at all!

A Glimpse of Heaven

When we first began discussing adoption, these verses have been some of the "life verses" we keep referring back to:

Even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will. Ephesians 1:4-5

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. James 1:27

My personal prayer in preparing my heart for God to reveal His timing for our adoption was for Him to break my heart for what breaks His!  I want to look through lenses as Jesus does to see people as He sees them.  We are all like orphans and He loves each and everyone of us in spite of our little (and big) quirks!  As I scroll over the website of waiting children in China, my heart has truly been broken!  It is broken thinking that each of these children are in need of someone to show them love! It is broken because there are so many children that were put up for adoption because of their disabilities or because they were not the firstborn of their family.  It is broken because of the physical needs they have whether it be needed surgeries or one-on-one attention or simply better living conditions.  It is broken because on the list of waiting children there are several boys and girls approaching the age of 14 and once they turn 14 they are removed from the adoption lists, will never be adopted, and will remain in an orphanage until they are 18 or beyond depending on their disabilities.  My heart is broken that there are children out there that need love...love that so many people take for granted on a daily basis!  Love that I could give them or a mom or dad could provide them, but something more...love from their heavenly Father that they have no clue about!  The very Creator that formed and knew them in their mother's womb loves them and they have never even heard the name of Jesus spoken!  My heart is broken!  

But in the midst of this emotional day I am also filled with hope!  Hope knowing that there are many families that have welcomed a child into their forever family!  Hope that the care takers in the orphanages love these children!  Hope that many families, like ourselves, are in the process of adopting and will help provide homes for these children!  Hope that we serve a sovereign God who has a plan and purpose for every single life!  He knows my name, your name, and every orphan's name!  He knows our hearts and loves us!  I know God has created just the child for our family and I know He is truly working on my heart through this process, drawing me closer to His side, and for that I am ever thankful for this hope-filled "glimpse of Heaven"!


Here is a picture of "Carl" written out in Mandarin Chinese!  This is our future child's new last name!

Paperwork Pregnancy Begins

When we began the process of adopting, we were given a very tentative timeline of  it taking 1-2 years from start to having a child placed in our home.  One huge factor in the length of the process is the estimated 4-8 months of paperwork also known as the "paperwork pregnancy"!  I admit when I heard it was going to take 4-8 months to complete papers, I chuckled!  I thought to myself, "Why would it take THAT LONG to fill out some papers?"  Well, we have begun our first packet and it is very extensive, consisting of home studies, reference letters, physicals, medical information, background checks, reading assignments, 10 hours of online coursework, autobiography of our family, etc. etc....I am praying we will be "paperwork over-achievers" with the goal of getting it done in 4 months or less!  (How's that for a pregnancy?) The sooner we get all of it completed, the closer we are to growing our family and that's one AWESOME incentive to keep in mind!  We appreciate your prayers for 

a speedy paperwork process with few hiccups as possible!

Faith, Hope & Love-Pending

In 2006, after being married two years, Jonathan and I decided we were ready to begin growing our family.  After a three year journey of trying to get pregnant, much prayer and heartache of still having a family consisting of only Jonathan and myself...we accepted the fact that maybe God had other plans to grow our family!  

We prayed God would use us as parents to either our own biological child or to a child in need of a forever family!  We made a promise that even if God should bless us with our own biological child, we would still show the same love of adoption that Christ did for each of us and welcome an adoptive child into our family as well.  After accepting God's plan was bigger and better than anything we could plan ourselves and giving everything up to Him...low and behold...I became pregnant with Sophia Faith!  Every day she grew within my belly was the realization of how great our God is and a reminder that His plans our perfect!  

We were thrilled to become her parents and cherish each moment we have with her (well most of them...there are a few tantrum moments we're not so grateful for)!  She truly is a blessing and God proved that "One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much..." Luke 16:10.  After being a family of 3 for a little over a year the question from family and friends of "When will you have another baby?" was repeatedly asked and in our minds.  After it taking so long to get pregnant with Sophia we were still thankful just to have her and were fine with having only one biological child.  We knew God could use us as parents to a child in need.  Well, let's just say it did NOT take three years to get pregnant the second time.  In fact we were very surprised at what little time it did take for the Lord to use us as His vessels to create Lydia Hope!  

We were a little nervous at the thought of our girls being only 2 years and 2 weeks apart in age, but continued to place our HOPE in Jesus Christ and His PERFECT plan for our lives!  "Now FAITH is being sure of what we HOPE for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1  So, there you have it...we have our Sophia FAITH and Lydia HOPE and couldn't be more thankful to be called their mommy and daddy!  

While cruisin' along each day with our family of four, Jonathan and I have always had in the back of our minds the promise we made to our Heavenly Father about adopting.  We knew we were open to the idea of it, but unsure of when or how His plans would unfold.   We knew I felt called to go back into the classroom to teach once the girls were in school but didn't really want me to go back for only a short time only to take off again (Lord willing) to be home with another child.  We prayed for the child God would possibly bring to us, guidance of which area of the world (international or domestic) to adopt from and that God would prick at our hearts so strongly that we couldn't deny it was His timing to adopt!  Well folks...all of those questions have been answered in the last month!  

God has led us to adopt from China! We have applied and been accepted to adopt through an agency called American World Adoption Agency.   Our hearts are filled with joy at the idea of God using our family to become a forever family to a child in need!  Both of our families, church family and friends join us in this journey and we ask each of you reading this blog to pray for us...  

• Please pray for guidance in this long, emotional, yet rewarding  endeavor and that God's hand would be in every decision along the path to bringing our future son or daughter into our home!  
• Please pray He prepares Jonathan and I as parents to love and guide them in a way that depicts the Father's love!  
• Please pray for Sophia and Lydia to be accepting of another child that might not have grown in "mommy's belly" but has grown in all of our hearts.  That they would love and welcome this brother/sister into our family forever! 
• Pray for our community and families to accept this little one and love them just the same and realize what an awesome opportunity is before each of us...showing a child love and providing him/her the opportunity for a family full of love from one another and from their Creator!  

Thank you in advance and we will keep you posted on our journey of Sophia FAITH, Lydia HOPE and LOVE...pending!  We love you all!