The Gotcha Day that Wasn't (Day 5)

Well...today was Gotcha Day...but it wasn't...for us.  Here is our story...

We had a great early wake up after a nervous night's rest.  The mixture of emotions continues to increase as you get closer to Gotcha Day.  Excitement is the reigning emotion as we've prepared to meet our daughter for exactly a year to the day! Nervousness and worry are a close second as doubts, fears, concerns attack you as a parent.  Stress is not too far behind as you try to prepare and expect the unexpected.

After repacking all of our bags and asking a billion questions about Gotcha Day we were packed and ready, checking out and departing from our hotel at 6am.  Our guides had obtained some to-go breakfasts which were nice with drinkable yogurts (popular here), fruit, & muffins.  We then headed on our 45 minute drive to the airport to get checked in for our 8:30am flight.  We were dropped off at a ticket counter and left (our guide had to check in another group and came back to check on us).  On our own, we simply did the American check in procedure, hand your passport to the agent and pray for to the best! It worked.  We were checked in and baggage was taken (even overweight ones were taken for free, hehe).  After our guide returned we parted ways and headed through security.  Patience.  The security check was slow but thorough.  They don't need 3D X-ray machines in China because their security gives you a THOROUGH 3D pat down.  If pictures were allowed to be taken we would've captured some priceless, surprised, & offended American expressions as we experienced close encounters with the security kind. Lol.

The airport in Beijing is NICE!  Probably bigger than any airport in the US.  We were able to get some nice Starbucks imitation coffee (to include fancy swirl artwork in the cream) and get some drinks before boarding our flight.  Our plane was located further away so we rode a packed full bus to the plane.  Chinese planes are exactly the same as American ones, but have the added benefit of a free meal on a three hour flight...more breakfast noodles anyone?  We landed around noon in Guiyang, easily found our luggage and quickly found our guide Vickie.  That's when the Gotcha Day fun began...and stopped.

Expect the unexpected.  Be fexible.  Prepare for changes.  All variations of phrases that have been drilled into our heads throughout the adoption process.  We've known and experienced many delays, disappointments, and changes throughout the adoption journey (as do all adoptive families) but the one sure thing was always Gotcha Day.  There would be a set day when you would finally meet and hold your child.

Well Gotcha Day was not fixed or guaranteed for us.  It was delayed.  As we rode into Guiyang our guide was sharing details about the province while everyone was thinking....'can you just tell us when we get to meet our kids?'  Our guide finally talked about four families going to get their kids.  Well there are five families in our group, so thinking she was just misspeaking we asked if she meant five families.  She pulled out a piece of paper and asked, 'Who are the parents of An Fu Ju?'  Well, that was us (Alia's Chinese name is An Fu Ju). Our thoughts raced a million miles an hour about what we were going to hear next.

The government officials, in their infinite wisdom, had decided that five families were too many to handle so they would simply tell us TWO HOURS BEFORE that we would be the only family that wouldn't get to hold their child today.  Bummed is an understatement.  We had quick flashes of frustration, anger, confusion government-rebellion (haha, jk), but mainly questions.  Why?  What can we do to fix this? When do we get to meet Alia?  What do we do now?

Well there was no changing the authorities' minds, so we just had to take a little of our own parental medicine.  'You get what you get and you don't throw a fit.' 'Take lemons and make lemonade.' 'Good things come to those who wait.'  Ultimately we took comfort in knowing that God is in control over all of the authorities and plans of men, so we weren't worried.  We weren't sure why, but we were sure of who was in control.  God gave us quick peace in the midst of devasting news, so to answer your question, no, we didn't TP and graffiti the government buildings in our frustration.  We decided that we didn't want to tour the Chinese prison system today too. Haha

"The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

We knew we would be weeping tonight, but that our joy would come the next day. (Re: Alia's life verse of Psalms 30:5b)

So what did we do?  We chose to experience two Gotcha Days.  We journeyed with our four families to their Gotcha Day and experienced it in a way that few ever do.  We got to make videos and take tons of photos for several of the families!  Here's what happened on their Gotcha Day (our dry run):

We left the hotel at 2:30pm to take a 15 minute drive to the government office.  We were expecting a big government building but ended up on the 24th floor of a normal office type building.  It was a nice new building with marble floors and walls.  We found the office which was small with four couches kind of like a larger doctor's office waiting room.  We were surprised to see that two of the children were already there!  All four of our families had children in foster care (two Western foster families and two Chinese foster families).  One of our families had to wait about 15 minutes for their child to show up while another family had to wait a good 45 minutes extra.  Expect the unexpected.

Every child reacts differently.  Some cry more than others.  Every child cries.  Some children cry until they can't cry any more. It was very overwhelming.  Tears were flowing steadily on both children and adults throughout the three hours we were there.  It seems that children in Western, Christian foster homes tended to adapt much better to the handover.  The two children with Chinese nannies had the toughest time, you could tell the children had been held and coddled much by their Chinese foster parents.  Lots of screaming when those nannies left.  It was heartbreaking to watch the kids miss and mourn these adults who had poured so much love into them.  Heartbreaking grief.  

It was heartwarming to watch these parents who had prayed, prepared, and sacrificed for so long hold their precious new gifts from God.  What a picture of God's love for these families to travel halfway around the world to give themselves and their love to these precious children who had been abandoned because God created them differently (all of these kids have special needs of some sort).  Heartwarming adoptive love.

The three hours passed quickly despite the chaos of screaming, photos, signing many, many, many papers, and departures of foster families.  We then gathered everything together and headed to the bus.  It was precious to see several of the kids start bonding with their parents, not wanting to let go of the same parents they had only recently been pushing away at.  Several of the kids passed out and cuddled with their new families on the way home.  Precious.  We were so blessed to be a part of this amazing Gotcha Day for these families. God is good.

When we returned to the hotel we took the time as a group to circle up and pray over these children.  We praised and thanked God for the precious gift He had given these families.  We asked that He bless these children in such a way that they come to know and trust in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.  We prayed that God break any demonic, spiritual ties or curses or the effects of the sins of their parents (Guizhou is a heavily animistic region with many demonic sacrifices in the villages).  We asked God for peace and comfort as we slept in our rooms and the children began to bond with their families.  We love talking with our God and we know He is so good to listen and answer.

Well the three hours may have gone by fast, but everyone was emotionally and physically drained.  So what is the best way to fix that?  Pizza of course.  Brittney and I ran across the street...we'll not really, we walked, underground.  The streets of Guiyang are so big that you cross streets underground through tunnels.  We ventured to a nearby Pizza Hut (think fancy restaurant not fast food).  

Very few people speak English in this province (we get lots of stares, hardly any Westerners in this city of 4 million), so our waitresses were giggling as they drew straws with who would have to serve us (the one with the best English).  Well, she knew no English and we knew no Chinese, but we were able to figure out with a lot of menu finger-pointing and Pleco app (free Chinese/English dictionary) how to order some pizza for the whole group (a large stuffed crust is smaller than a US large pizza, but around $18). We then journeyed to grab sodas and waters and delivered to the other families.  It was awesome to see these kids settled down more and enjoying their families (although one kid kept going to the door to try to escape, so sad, but part of the grieving process for these kids).

The pizza hit the spot for us (a little ice cream didn't hurt either), and we regrouped, prayed and headed to bed.  We were sad looking at this empty crib next to us, but excited to know it will be filled tomorrow with our sweet little Alia.  Thank you for your ongoing prayers for us and for these other amazing families!